The Adventures of Mary Sue, Part I
by Kirala Mouse
Summary: What it says on the tin. First in a brief series about the adventures of a real-life Mary Sue dragged into bad fanfic.
1. Time And Relative Dimension In Story

_A/N - Apologies for any formatting errors or issues. Also apologies to anyone looking for good Who fic._

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the stories which my heroine visits._

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_**1. Time and Relative Dimension in Story**

I woke up, bleary-eyed, to discover that it was 8:57 and my alarm had been trying to wake me for the past hour or so without success. Swearing under my breath, I yanked a brush through my hair, threw on some clothes, grabbed my bag and started running for my 9:00 class. My professor was not going to be happy, and I didn't think it would be wise to tell him I'd been staying up late doing vitally important research. He would probably find nothing particularly vital about knowing the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow or how to medically examine a weary knight. Truth be told, at one time I would have found nothing important about it either. Just one of the many changes to my life, this sort of self-training. If I ran fast enough, I could probably skid into class only a few minutes late. Of course, I found my path blocked by a large blue box, a retro telephone-booth thing with the helpful sign "Police Public Call Box". Oh, please no, I thought. If I ran a bit faster, perhaps...

"Mary Rose! Run!"

There was no help for it; the devilishly handsome man (Time Lord, I corrected myself) was headed in my direction at full pelt. Doubtless something nasty and earth-shattering was immediately behind. I resigned myself to Mary Rose (Mary Rose this time? Oh dear -) and stepped into the #(*$&% TARDIS. Again.

I had been doing the wrong research. Last time Discworld was followed by the Castle Anthrax. This time I was stuck with the - well, at least it was the lovely Tennant-Ten Doctor, it could have been a Dalek, but still, couldn't the TARDIS have waited until I'd gotten around to catching up Series 3? That does it, I decided. This time I'm seeing if we can go back in time in MY world and stop my idiot mother naming me Maria Suzanne. Mary Sue by any other name...

The Doctor slammed us into the TARDIS and began throwing switches.

"That's why I love you, Mary Rose," he said. "Always ready to move! And of course there's that lovely Rose in your name..."

I wasn't sure if I wanted to be Mary Rose (previously, I believe I had been Romarisuzanna, Mary Jane, and Spocka; I didn't bother keeping track because it was never the same). I was, however, sure that Mary Rose would be sick of the Doctor blathering about Rose all the time.

"And Mary sounds like Martha, is that it?"

He looked surprised. "Martha? Oh, no, she's gone. Got sick of hearing about Rose all the time."

"Smart girl. You know, Rose IS gone. We could get used to the idea." If this is a universe where the Doctor gets sappy, it's probably one where I have the power to make things happen. Right?

"Ah, forget Rose. You're right, she was a waste of my time. I have you here, my Mary Rose, and I'm not letting you go without a good snog." And that lovely manic David Tennant face came right at me.

Okay, this life isn't ALL bad.


	2. Lena Looks Into A Fanfic

_A/N - This chapter is going to have to be a bridge, I think, and published twice if possible. Ah well. The Adventures of Mary Sue do not work well across fandoms..._

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_**2. Lena Looks Into A Fanfic**

"Ms. Reiser? Ms. Reiser!"

My eyes snapped open. I was in my creative writing class, kissing the empty air.

Fortunately, I have some experience dealing with these situations. I inhaled sharply, and turned to stare wide-eyed at my professor. "Did I have another seizure?"

The professor eyed me suspiciously. "Well, I didn't notice you here until I saw you sprawled all over your desk in that very interesting position, so I must assume you did. Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"N-no, I'm okay," I managed, my face flaming. An interesting position, indeed. Though apparently it hadn't been as interesting as some of the poses I've arrived in in the past; the class's attention quickly left me to attend Dr. Schreiber's critique of someone's latest short story. I cringed a bit reflexively, then noticed Elena's beet-red face. She was looking at me apologetically. It was then that I noticed the just-closed laptop in front of her. I stared at her in disbelief. She cringed.

_Later,_ I mouthed, glaring at her. My friend and I would have words after class.

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"I'm so sorry, Ria! I'm so, so sorry! I thought I'd be done before you got too close! It was just so much fun to read..."

"Lena, I might be perpetually late, but it's not that hard to believe that I'll be within fifty feet of the classroom within fifteen seconds of class starting, is it? I mean..." I trailed off. Elena felt bad enough, I could tell. I sighed. "Well, next time just see about waiting till after class to get me out, huh?"

"I couldn't," she mumbled.

"What?"

"I - I've read that one before. And you were about to get captured by Daleks, and it would have been months before you could get out, and - "

"You've read that one before."

Now she was squirming.

"Elena, you're telling me you've read that before, and you know when I get within fifty feet of an open fanfic I end up IN said fanfic, and you're telling me you couldn't remember to close the friggin' window before I got there? Or are you telling me..."

She slumped in defeat. "Okay, Schreiber was looking to be dull and I was kinda curious... But hey, I had an exit prepared for you!"

"Just for that, I'm not telling. Absolutely not telling. A lady never tells."

Elena stared in disbelief. I allowed myself a small grin. Then, incredulously, she broke out laughing.

"He MUST have been good, if you're up to joking about it! So, how was it? The fic was kind of vague... uh, Ri?"

Vague. Elena seemed kind of vague at the moment. Suddenly I found myself standing in a woody place - such a woody place that branches were sticking into me and there was hardly room to move. Elena was gone; two bloody boys, a shaken little girl, and a cynical Dwarf were in her place. I stared; this was not a common place for me to land. _Maria Suzanne Reiser,_ I told myself. _I'm Maria Suzanne Reiser. Suzanne Reiser. Suzanne. Su..._


End file.
